There are those who believe in specificity when talking about food. Take HardTimes’ Metrosexual Philosoph Mike Koch. According to the school of Koch, when one goes out for “pizza,” they are not allowed to order any “specialty” za. BBQ chicken pizza? Out. They would have to instead say the asinine sentence: “I’m going out for specialty pizza.”
I, however, hold that though a BBQ chicken pizza is not comprised of typical pizza ingredients, we can still call it pizza. Experimenting with the original idea of pizza makes it no less a pizza. I will say, however, that no one should ever claim to be eating pizza when their plate is loaded with pizza rolls. Moderation, folks.
Similarly, Koch and I butt heads on the Turkey Reuben sandwich. How someone so intelligent, thoughtful, and talented refuses to explore this - I’m just going to say it - perfect culinary delight remains baffling to me.
Smoked turkey (or turkey pastrami) piled on a mattress of rye bread, dressed with thousand island, sauerkraut, and melted swiss cheese; another slice of rye for our comforter, and the turkey reuben is born.
“You can’t call it a reuben, though!” Koch most certainly will exclaim upon reading this post. ”A reuben has beef! There’s no beef!”
Koch, ever the postmodernist, steps amazingly out of character by sticking with such a narrow-minded definition of reubens (let alone pizza).
Can we not call a penguin a bird, despite it’s inability to fly? Even Rueben himself – the oldest son of Jacob and Leah – would have to agree that a Turkey Reuben is a Reuben; a delicious one at that. We’ve followed a basic definition of a Reuben, added a slight twist, and produced something equally as great as the original. Of course following these guidelines can fail. Remember when Alanis Morissette tried releasing the acoustic version of Jagged Little Pill?
So the question remains: Can we tell our friends/family/loved ones that we had a Reuben for lunch, even if there wasn’t a shaving of beef on our sandwich? Can we order a BBQ pizza without having to call it a “specialty pizza?”
Yes, we can.
